Recently I wrote about my biological family trauma. It felt really good to share it with the world. Growing up I was conditioned not to open up and share my feelings or what was going on at home. We were conditioned to dress nice, smile, and all sit together at church to protect an image. Very few people knew my reality. I’m talking two people in high school knew what was actually going on. That’s it. Ever since I broke free and told my story last month, I have had an overwhelming sense of relief. I have been able to communicate better with Mr. BMM. My feelings and emotions have been flowing along a positive vibe. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses but I have been feeling better than I could have ever expected most of the time.
Yet recently I have been having this nagging feeling to declutter more and more. I don’t understand why. I have already gotten rid of everything from or reminder of my biological family except for one box of pictures that is on a shelf in my garage that I do see each time I pull into the garage. I wonder if there is something else hidden or hidden in plain sight that is causing this reaction for me. I have a very strong urge to perform a second KonMari.
Maybe I need to get rid of those old pictures. There are pictures of me with my beloved grandparents in that box so I cannot simply toss the whole box in the garbage. I may need to ask Mr. BMM a huge favor to go through this box for me when he has time. Because I really don’t know if I can do it without sacrificing my mental health. Yet the urge to do a second KonMari is so strong that I might just need to get it done as fast as possible. Where could other hidden bad memories be lurking in our home? I’m at a loss besides these pictures.
Has this happened to anyone else? I know Marie Kondo promotes her method as the one and done, clutter never to return method. It’s true. I don’t have clutter. I must have some really bad juju around our home for this draw to declutter to be so strong. Any suggestions? I’m open to anything!