Please Stop Should-ing All Over Yourself

Is it just me or have we grown accustomed to thinking that “should” means that we must do something or act a certain way?  You must wear pants on a Zoom call.  You should brush your teeth for a Zoom call.  The must and should are not interchangeable in this example.  Way too often are we inundated with should-ing.  We get overwhelmed by the should-ing To Do List where we simply turn to a Netflix binge the next season of whatever just to avoid it all. 

goggle must be worn sign hanging on nail

As a millennial female, I was told my whole life from my biological boomer parents that I should skip going to college, get married before 20, have 2.5 kids before turning 30, quit work, stay at home with our 2.5 kids, and keep a tidy home for my husband to come home to at the end of his work day.  Did I do any of that?  NOPE!  I was 31 when I got married.  Went to college and even got a masters.  Mr. BMM and I agreed on not having kids.  I have yet to simply quit my job to take care of our home.  We split the household chores because we both work.  And we take turns making dinner after work. 

Do I occasionally question if I did something wrong because I didn’t follow a single should?  Yes.  There is a smidge of guilt in my gut.  And then I look around.  I’m absolutely in love with Mr. BMM.  We have the perfect home for us along with our furry kid.  We manage our home together and rarely argue.  When I compare my life to the biological parents I saw that fought weekly over everything under the sun, I realize that I made the best decisions for me. 

Society and social media adds a whole additional layer on the “should pile of garbage”.  You should be skinny with flawless skin, work crazy hours but have it all together, work out but binge Netflix, go to parties, host parties, live the perfect life that fits within this little box you call *insert paleo, keto, minimalist, vegan, etc* all while being practically perfect in every way like Mary Poppins.  Barf!

Here are 5 things you should do:

  1. Inhale and exhale, repeat
  2. Brush your teeth
  3. Wear pants
  4. Eat foods that nourish your body
  5. Smile

Book Review: F*ck No by Sarah Knight

Book Review: The Subtle Art of Not giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

Book Review: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami



2 thoughts on “Please Stop Should-ing All Over Yourself

  1. i think/feel parents give us the tools and we just have to figure out where we can use them. as long as you are happy, your parents “should” be too for it is your life not theirs.

    Liked by 1 person

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