Before you start reading this review, know that in the spirit of this book, this review does contain “bad language.” If that’s not your thing, cool. Skip to another book review. But if it’s ok with you, keep on reading and then read my review of Mark’s other book.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson
There is something amazing about letting go of all of those should’s and just living your life the way that you want to. I’m saying the stop giving a fuck about what others think and you do you kind of living your life. Society says you need to spend time with that bitchy aunt that just drives you bat shit crazy. Nope. You really don’t have to listen to society. Ignoring that bitch will just make your life a million times happier. Sure she might show up at your doorstep in tears but you don’t have to answer that door. Her problems are literally her problems. You can’t fix that shit. You’re not Dr. Phil.
Are you part of a toxic relationship that society says you need to be nice to that person because blah blah blah. Negative. There is freedom in giving less fucks and walking away from a toxic relationship like actors walk away from a building as it blows up behind them. It feels really weird to walk away. We are hardwired from generation after generation of accepting these should’s that we don’t think that we can ever say no. But guess what. You can say no. Go ahead and say no to something right now that you really don’t give a shit about. Stop giving a shit about knitting mittens for your neighbor’s pet mouse unless it is something that you actually give a fuck about doing.
Most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving too many fucks in situations where fucks do not deserve to be given. We give too many fucks about the rude gas station attendant who gave us our change in nickels. We give too many fucks when a show we liked was canceled on TV. We give too many fucks when our coworkers don’t bother asking us about our awesome weekend. Meanwhile, our credit cards are maxed out, our dog hates us, and Junior is snorting meth in the bathroom, yet we’re getting pissed off about nickels and Everybody Loves Raymond.Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
As Mark Manson goes on to explain, that not giving a fuck does not mean not caring about anything. It’s all about choosing what you actually really want to care about in life. He goes on to say that “True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.” Let that one sink in for a moment because problems will continue to arise. It’s up to you to find the problems that you give a fuck about.
Earlier this week I wrote about why we keep shopping. The response came in the form of many ah-ha moments from readers. See each time we purchase that new little shiny thing we eventually see it as the old, dull thing so that we are constantly seeking out the next new little shiny thing. It’s a never ending cycle. In life where we are always seeking out the latest and greatest social trend, it’s called the hedonic treadmill.
Psychologists sometimes refer to this concept as the “hedonic treadmill”: the idea that we’re always working hard to change our life situation, but we actually never feel very different. This is why our problems are recursive and unavoidable. The person you marry is the person you fight with. The house you buy is the house you repair. The dream job you take is the job you stress over. Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice—whatever makes us feel good will also inevitably make us feel bad. What we gain is also what we lose. What creates our positive experiences will define our negative experiences.Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
I could go on and on about this book and outline what I learned. But I am going to stop here. As with Mark’s other book, this one came at the perfect time with the perfect message. If you are struggling in any way, check out this book. It really opened my eyes about how not giving a fuck actually gave me personal freedom. And great things started happening!