Over the years I have learned more and more about myself. I would say that over the past five years have been the most amazing growth spurt that I have every had to date. I have a greater sense of compassion, I can see where someone is coming from even if I don’t agree with their opinions, I am around people with diverse opinions, and I focus on self-care so that I can be a better me, furmom, and wife. How have I learned so much? Sometimes from reading a book. Sometimes from observing others. And sometimes deciding what I refuse to make time for anymore.
Years ago my calendar would be stuffed full by others. I would regret accepting, being told to accept invitations, or given a guilt trip to say yes. Our house was stuff full by others. I would somehow get suckered into accepting other people’s discarded stuff that we did not need or find useful or beautiful. My body was over feed and under nourished. I was overweight yet extremely unhealthy.
I refuse to give time, money, and/or energy to the following:
- Filling my calendar with guilt. I stopped saying yes to everything. I put up boundaries and those that screamed the loudest about those boundaries got even more boundaries set. I started saying no to things that did not excite me. I started determining an end time for an event when an event did not have an end time. It still feels really weird when I have a free afternoon. I can’t seem to fully embrace the free afternoon without questioning myself (I’m still working on that).
- Hangovers. I am 1,000,000% over hangovers. Like I have written about before, I have a bunch of food allergies and navigating the food area took up so much mental space that I unexpectedly gave up drinking. Now it’s been over 5 years since I last consumed alcohol and I regret nothing. Rather than having a glass of wine before bed, I now have a glass of tart cherry juice. It is really the tradition of sitting down to relax with a glass that I craved. Now I just swapped it with juice and wake up completely refreshed.
- Fixing the past. Listen I was an asshole and others were assholes. I admit I was. But you know what, people change. Some people can grow and change while others hold tight to old stories. For those that hold tight to those old stories, I feel bad for you. There are a lot of amazing things going on in the present and they are missing all of it.
- Shopping without a reason. I started this whole blog because I wanted to document my no spend year in 2019. At this point, I don’t care to mindlessly shop. I do like to look and enjoy what is going on in the world but I can’t and don’t care to mindlessly shop. Shopping for no reason drives me crazy.
- Dry cleaning clothes. My personal work uniform is a simple cotton blend black dress. I refuse to go back to the weekly dry cleaning trips. Waste of money and time as well as polluting the environment.
- Skipping workouts. Many, many, many times in the past I would let others talk me out of my workouts. I would hear you can work out another day. I’m not skipping my workouts anymore. Either people can deal with me post workout with or without a shower because I’m not skipping my workouts.
- Explaining or proving myself. Before I would argue, explain, or attempt prove myself to others. I am to the point that I literally do not care what others think about me. I know in my heart that I am the best version of myself, doing the best that I know how to do in the moment, and I won’t explain or attempt to prove myself.
