I am entering my second month of my 2020 Slow Theme. By going slower, so much stuff has bubbled up. So much so, that I decided to have mini-monthly resolutions to support my theme. February’s theme is around chores and cleaning. I have written in the past about feeling overwhelmed and wanted to reevaluate my chore schedule. I have thought about it, but did not really make any changes.
For years, I have ebbed and flowed with feeling overwhelm with respect to household chores. I have to dust, vacuum, clean the bathroom, mop, do laundry, iron, meal plan, meal prep, and be the organizer of things in the house. Why? Because I feared that by not doing all of the things my husband (Mr. BMM) to feel disappointed. I complained when he did not notice that I cleaned the bathroom or did some other chore. However, he never complained if I missed a spot of dust. This whole overwhelm of chores was completely and totally in my mind from childhood.
Growing up, I learned that if you kept your shit together really well and tight, you were not grounded or yelled at or disciplined. If I was grounded, it was due to not dusting properly or not having the proper number of water changes per square feet of space when mopping the kitchen and bathroom. Sunny days were always meant for cleaning. Not joking.
Oh the shit narratives! Literally, that childhood narrative belongs to Cinderella and I did not realize it did not have to be my narrative.
“The problem is that, at some point, likely a long time ago, we got punched in the face, and instead of punching back, we decided we deserved it.”From Everything is F*ucked: a Book about Hope by Mark Manson
Then one night after reading this quote, it hit me. If everything has its place because we KonMari’d our home, then if someone stops over and I have not dusted in a week or so, nobody will notice. Then I asked my honey if he gave a shit about me dusting weekly. Nope. How about me grocery shopping and cooking weekly? Yes, he did not want to waste away. How about the laundry weekly? Yes, his work would not approve of the nude lifestyle. How about mopping the floors weekly? Nope.
There you have it. I placed so much unnecessary extra stress on attempting to be perfect for all of these years, I freaked out and yelled about dust last weekend. Dust. Seriously? Yes. I lost my shit over dust that my honey does not care one bit.
Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture.Mario Buatta
How do I plan to change? Because let’s be honest, losing your shit over dust is shitty. I know I am not the only one out there losing their shit over dust. I am not the only person with a Cinderella shit narrative.
First things first. I am going to give myself a personal gold star when I get the three non-negotiable items done. The non-negotiables are laundry, grocery shopping, and meal prepping since being a hangry naked person will not work. If I do the other things, bonus. If I do not, oh well. If I do the other things, it is for me. It is because something is annoying me. Note: we have a robotic vacuum that we aim to run daily for the fur situation. That thing is a lifesaver.
Our home is not staged for a magazine photo shoot. It is a home where two busy working adults live with their adorable fur baby. There is going to be fur everywhere, no matter how much I clean or do not clean. Our fur baby does not care if our house is magazine photo shoot worthy. He really would prefer belly rubs and snuggles so dusting just takes away his fun.
Check out Season 2 – Episode 1 from The Cozy Minimalism Podcast about the drain of the To Do lists.
“Becoming the person you dream of takes a lot of self-reflection and diving into the past to figure out who you wish to be in the future. Your history holds so many pearls of wisdom that can help you map out where you want to go and what direction to take. Today I am talking all about using your past as a springboard and motivator to help you move forward. I’ll be sharing the importance of sitting in discomfort and reflecting on who you’ve been and giving yourself permission to let go of the past.”Productivity Paradox
As if everything I wrote above was not enough to convince me to rewrite my narrative about a clean home, this week Stephanie, host of the Sustainable Minimalist Podcast reinforced my efforts to go slower and simplify. She offered six tips to simplifying.
“Less is more, and not just with possessions: A minimalist lifestyle decreases stress and increases peace of mind.Sustainable Minimalist Podcast
Many of us could benefit from intentional lifestyle tweaks that prioritize free time, reduce financial stress and curate fulfilling relationships. The single-best way to accomplish all these (lofty) tasks? Simplify wherever possible.”